


Cup of Bullets (or, Dammit Horatio, I'm Yakuza not Indiana Jones!)

by ladywinter



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crime, M/M, Romance, mafia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-25
Updated: 2011-01-25
Packaged: 2017-10-15 01:43:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/155708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladywinter/pseuds/ladywinter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mafia AU. When Kakashi's roped into teaching the kid how to shoot, he never expected to be so surprised. YAOI. Kakashi/Naruto. Onesided Sasuke/Naruto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cup of Bullets (or, Dammit Horatio, I'm Yakuza not Indiana Jones!)

**Author's Note:**

> **Pairing:** Kakashi/Naruto, Naruto is 24. Onesided Sasuke/Naruto.
> 
>  **Warnings:** contains explicit sex and cussing.
> 
>  **Summary:** Mafia AU. When Kakashi's roped into teaching the kid how to shoot, he never expected to be so surprised.
> 
>  **Notes:** Thanks goes tooctocoffee and orin for beta services. Wordcount 11k. Written for the Naruto Big Bang.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** Kishimoto owns Naruto and all characters.  
> 

It's 4am when he gets off the plane in L.A.X. and every bit of him feels like it's drooping. He catches sight of his direct superior waiting at the gate with a couple bodyguards, though the amount's surprising.

"Do you have it?" The elder greets.

"Aa." Kakashi agrees and hands over the briefcase, which then gets handed over to half the men who speed off. Not guards for his superior, then. "Not even going to check it?"

"We trust you."

Kakashi bows at that, "I'm honored."

They start walking towards the parking lot. "Did you have much trouble in Rome?"

He thinks of the blond explosives expert he'd met, and the several warehouses that luckily no one seems to care about. "Not 'much' trouble, no."

"Which means we're lucky that lovely city is still standing." His superior glances at him sideways.

Kakashi just returns his gaze, eye half-lidded, and waiting.

"Still, an apparent success. As expected. The boss is pleased with your work, you're due for some time off." Danzo pauses, consideringly, "Relatively considered, a time off; we have an easy assignment for you."

"Oh?"

"We want you to teach someone how to shoot."

"Me." He asks, flatly.

"You're the best."

He thinks about it, and tries to calculate what conditions he could amend that'll cause the other to voluntarily quit. "Then he will learn how I was taught. If he refuses to learn, then it's not my problem."

"Agreed. We know you're not much of a teacher," Danzo chuckles, "But, try your best with this boy, all right? Orders from the top."

"Aa. It's like that, is it?" It was probably someone important's kid, a favored underboss's, maybe even the boss's own.

"Yes."

"Alright then." Kakashi nods, mostly to himself. This shouldn't take long. If the boy, son of Yakuza leadership, hasn't learned already then it's probably because he'd never been interested, and is doing so now only for a spoiled lark.

He gives the kid two hours before he gives up.

* * *

When Kakashi enters the shooting range he only spares the kid a single look before starting in quickly on how to strip and clean a gun. He's a bit bemused to find the young man far older than he was expecting, maybe early twenties, with a still innocent look, bouncy, eager. He revises his earlier estimate down to one hour.

"And here's the manual, I'll be back in a couple minutes to see how you're doing."

He makes sure to take all the bullets, and leaves without a backward glance. A rerun marathon of Days of Our Lives is on; and even though he already knows that Marie's boyfriend Mark was really her disfigured amnesiac brother Tommy, who'd undergone reconstructive facial surgery, their reactions are always still so priceless.

* * *

When he comes back after several hours, expecting to clean up an empty room, he's greeted by a finger to the face.

"You're LATE," the blond yells. It'd startled him at first to find a Yakuza's son to be blond, but the leadership's been taking Caucasian mistresses for years now and he figures it's some of that Western blood peeking through. It certainly also explains the universal attractiveness of the upper cadre and their children, the blond being no exception.

"I forgot what Day it was," he shrugs.

"LIAR."

Kakashi just smiles, and waves at the table, "Well?"

The young man snorts and disassembles the parts, wipes them down, and reassembles them back into a gun. It's a bit shaky, and a little inefficient, but overall... Surprisingly not bad.

"Good. Now do it faster."

"But I did as you—!"

"Faster." He interrupts, and waves the protests off, leaving. Maybe he can annoy the blond enough for him to refuse to deal with Kakashi again.

* * *

"Done."

Kakashi raises his eye from his watch, _just a little over a minute_. Near his own time, in fact. He's lightly impressed but makes sure not to show it.

"And if you complain about my speed again I'm gonna shove this gun so far up your—"

"Fine. Get your headcover on. Do you know how to do that?" Kakashi catches his nod before moving towards the range, snagging his own eye and ear covering along the way. He'd received orders to be more prompt, and isn't pleased about the matter, and channels his peevishness into indiference.

He barely waits for the young man to catch up, before showing him the cartridge, lining it into place, and loading the gun. "Got that?"

The blond nods and does the same.

"Now set your stance, find your sight, brace yourself. Then take off the safety."

"But shouldn't I take the safety off first?"

Kakashi just stares him down.

"You could just _tell_ me you know, instead of looking at me like I'm stupid."

"But you make it so _easy_ ," he singsongs.

"Ass," the young man mutters, then gets into place.

"Widen your stance." Kakashi prods at a shoulder and it shifts too easily, "You're not braced."

The blond just rolls his eyes and shifts his feet apart a little. But not nearly enough, not with his weight distribution. Kakashi mentally smirks.

"Safety off."

 _Click_.

"And slowly squeeze the trigger."

Which was nearly not slow at all, to be honest, and the gunshot startles the young man while the recoil practically knocks him over.

"Your stance," Kakashi remarks, pointedly.

"You could be more helpful you know," the blond retorts and gamely gets into place again.

It's been a week and he still hasn't thrown in the towel yet. Kakashi thinks he should step things up, so he replies, "If you wish," and slips behind the younger man.

He kicks the other's feet apart.

"You have to brace yourself," he murmurs, "Or get knocked over."

The blond tenses. He nudges him open a little more.

"Try not to sag your elbows at first," he says quietly, near the blond's ear, pushing his elbows up, "You can maybe later, if you have a steady hand and get better at this."

Then the young man's tilting a little, so Kakashi places his hands at the other's hips and guides him back into place, "Center your weight." He sights down the gun and leaves his hands where they were. "Your aim's good."

"It is?" The kid isn't breathing too much, he notes, amused.

Kakashi hums in agreement. "Now, squeeze the trigger. Slowly." They were both very very still. "Ease into it, one millimeter at a time," he whispers into the cup of that ear. "What's your name by the way?" And squeezed gently at the blond's hips.

 _*Bang!*_

Dead center.

The blond hardly swayed into him.

"N-naruto."

"Well, Naruto, congratulations." He smiles and points at the target. "You've just killed a man."

The blond whips around to stare at him and he takes a step back, keeping the smile up, despite feeling just a bit of shock at the intensity in those blue eyes and a flare of prickly heat. Kakashi almost feels like he should lean against a wall when that gaze rips away to look down at the gun in the young man's hand. Naruto stares at that palmful of steel, consideringly, hefting it.

Then Naruto closes his fist around the gun and puts it down carefully on a shelf and leaves without a word.

That should do it, Kakashi thinks, and ignores the faint regret that rides it.

* * *

He enters the Scottish church and finds a person in the pews where there's supposed to be none. The moonlight flickers in from behind the clouds and lights up hair colored blood and pink.

"Sakura," he says. The Irish mafia head had apparently gotten her nickname from her old martial arts teacher who'd, in a fit of drunkenness, named her such for everything she wasn't. The redhead just streaked her hair fuchsia in response and kept the name, and made it her own.

"Hello Kakashi," she greets, with a formal lilt and a smile.

"Hello," he replies, noting the bulges in the drape of her long coat.

"What's the Yakuza doing in the British Isles?" Her eyes seem kind, and her voice cheerful, but she shows a bit too much teeth.

"Reconnaissance, you might say."

" 'We *might* say'." She hums, still smiling. "You realize I won't let anything leave these shores that isn't yours."

Her tone troublingly indicates that she knows exactly what he's seeking. He brushes aside the consideration of 'How' and concentrates on salvaging something from this meeting.

"And if I only want a copy?" he asks lightly, staring idly at the architecture. There, in the shadows, movement, and faces that aren't fully carved from stone. Two more, behind the pillars of Master and Apprentice.

"You want... 'only' a copy."

"For our own reference."

"That's still very presumptuous of your leader," she giggles, then turns solemn, "I'm not alone," she points out.

Kakashi only glances at the places where her people are hidden, "You may as well be."

"I've taken down The Scorpion to reach my position, I can certainly take down the Yakuza's Wolf."

"Not by yourself," he cheerfully replies. The shadows shift, bristling.

"I'm the only one left alive of those from that fight."

"Yes, yes you are." Kakashi pauses, "Alive." He throws two spread of knives. They pin shirts, pants, and unvital muscle groups to the walls and floors.

There's clapping when the screams peter off into whimpers.

"You're just as good as they say you are." She smiles wider then and slips out a thick roll of copy paper, "I'm guessing, then, that you're well-placed enough to have news of the Uchiha?"

"Aa?" The topic change was odd, but he went with it. That family had held most of the leadership positions in their syndicate, and still holds the top position despite the recent shakeups. Kakashi wonders what news she seeks that could not be delivered by their organization's spies and informants.

"We have copies, backups, of the documents. I'm willing trade one for some gossip." She giggles, "Humor a girl."

 _Gossip?_ Kakashi mentally raises an eyebrow. Well, the girl was young, and it'd always been the prerogative of those in power to use their power for trivial things. If he can complete this job with a minimun of injury he's not going to complain. "My clan may be quartered in L.A., but we've no recent news of the one that defected to the States."

Sakura snorts, "Not him, his younger brother; the one your boss all but adopted. How is he?" She asks, with a dreamy smile.

He thinks of the beautiful young man he'd been teaching how to shoot, just before this job, and of how persistent the orders on high were to keep training him. How persistent the kid himself is. "Determined, focused," he replies.

"Really? That sounds like him." She leans forward. "You've seen him? Is he... is he dating anyone? Or still training?"

"I wouldn't know that he's allowed to date," Kakashi shrugs, evasive, mind racing and wondering how she knew of Naruto's arm's practice. "His training is going well, I suppose."

" 'You suppose'?"

"His shooting's improved, but isn't exactly up to par," he says carelessly, which was an utter lie. It should give the kid an edge if he ever goes up against the Irish. "I get the impression he's learning for thrill of it."

"The 'thrill' of it?" Sakura's smile sharpens and stills; eyes growing sweet, like poison.

"Like any spoiled, naïve debutant," Kakashi shrugs, looking bored and dissatisfied and lying with everything he has, "I'm just following orders, but it's kind of useless teaching him, even if it makes the kid smile." It always surprised him, that grin, hopeful and confident and full of the bittersweetness that comes when the hope and confidence were hard fought.

"He... smiles," she leans back, staring at him, expression changing and looking thoughtful, "That's... good."

There is something odd about her response, and a long pause.

"Tell me," Sakura fiddles with her blood-and-rose colored locks, "Does he still insist on dyeing his hair blond?"

Kakashi blinks, "I've the impression it's natural."

The redhead hums, head tilted down and shading her eyes, smirk lingering around her lips, "That explains a lot actually."

He waits, unmoving.

Then she laughs, "This is good news then! I hadn't expected him to be so well cared for. And to be smiling." Something completely lifts in her entire demeanor, "His smile is certainly special, isn't it?"

Kakashi could only nod at that, bemused.

Sakura grins and tosses the tube of papers at him, the cylinder flying at him end over end across the gaping space that divides them. Kakashi catches it, and unfurls it to confirm, the moon swollen large enough to read by.

It's all there. He glances up at her, mildly surprised, but the redhead's facing towards the front of the church, eyes turned inward.

"Go with God." She says, not looking towards him and the edges of her mouth quivering as if restraining a smirk, and absently flicks him away.

He leaves. _Well that was odd._ Kakashi doesn't know why she wanted to know about Uchiha Naruto but he didn't give away anything vital. And it doesn't have to go in his debriefing.

* * *

"Teach me how to fight. I want to protect myself."

He's been accosted before by pretty faces but never so soon after a mission, nerves still jangling. And never attached to someone that he's sure he'd get castrated for propositioning; they may like his work, but a gun hand is unrelated to other... functions. Kakashi ignores the young man and focuses on his breathing and the dojo and the meditative kata that should smooth out his reactions, "I've already taught you how to shoot."

"Yeah I know, I was there." The blond actually _sticks his tongue out_ at him. How he'd been born an Uchiha, Kakashi will never know. "I've been practicing, but. But I want other options. And they say you're good."

"I suppose," Kakashi says dismissively and tries to continue with his kata.

"I don't want to have to use— I don't want to be protected," Naruto insists.

Kakashi drops his form and turns to look at the blond. From the energy the kid had thrown into the arms training one would think he'd never been given the chance to learn. Perhaps he hadn't, some parents were odd like that, though Kakashi would never have pegged the Uchiha for one of them. He finds himself inadvertently mentioning this out loud and nearly hurts himself biting off the end of the sentence as it leaves his mouth.

Naruto just stares at him, and then throws his his head back to laugh, "That's rich! You thought I was an Uchiha?"

"From the way people treat you and the orders I've been given, it seemed only logical." Kakashi points out, droopy and unamused; he fists his fingers in his pockets.

"Well I'm not an Uchiha," Naruto grins, and holds out his hand, "Just an orphan by the name of Uzumaki Naruto."

He eyeballs the hand then reaches forward slowly to shake it, replies, "Then this Hatake Kakashi would like to know: what are you, 'Uzumaki Naruto'?" The Yakuza tiptoe around the boy like he's someone important, or someone precious to someone with power.

"Just a guy who needs to learn how to defend himself." The blond smiles beguilingly in a way that makes him lose his train of thought.

"Are you certain?" Kakashi's finger's clench and he yanks the kid in, looming over the younger man and bearing down into his personal space.

There's an uncertain flicker in his blue eyes, uneasiness in his stance, "You're a damn perv," the kid says, jaw set, "but if you're _actually_ gonna teach me, then yes. I can stand to be uncomfortable." The blue almost seems to glow, and to swallow him with heat.

"Well then!" Kakashi remarks cheerfully, stepping away twitchy and hiding his own uneasiness, he really ought to have finished his set. "Give me twenty pushups, twenty laps, and then we'll start with a light warm up, to see what we've got to work with."

* * *

He's in the middle of showing Naruto a series of Jujitsu submission holds three weeks later when the dojo's swept open and a dark-haired young man strides in. Kakashi's danger sense is immediately on alert; this is a man who has killed before, and often, and will kill again. He holds himself like he has power; he walks like he's an heir.

This, Kakashi thinks, must be Uchiha Sasuke. He'd asked around after being enlightened by Naruto as to his true last name, shared the story of his confusion, and endured teasing in exchange for some information and a name. It's more than what men similarly new to the syndicate were normally allowed to be aware of.

"Sasuke!" Naruto untangles himself quickly from the knot of their limbs, rising, and bounces up to the other young man.

"Naruto," the Uchiha acknowledges, and sweeps his gaze down the blond, then around at the room and at Kakashi on the floor.

Kakashi, despite feeling oddly naked, simply lifts up and slouches into a cross-legged sitting position.

" _You_ ," this directed at the blond, and there is an odd stress in the Uchiha's speech, "are learning how to _fight_."

"Yes," Naruto replies, chin up, "I am. I'm getting good at it too."

"Hn." The dark-haired young man snorts, sharp, "Don't bother. It's taken care of." And then claps a hand to the blond's shoulder.

It looks unsettlingly possessive, Kakashi mentally notes. While the possessiveness is increasingly making sense (this must be who Naruto is precious to), and indicates that Kakashi may possibly be getting shot at tonight (what with the way he's being glared at), he does not know why it's unsettling. Nor why Naruto's looking as angry as he's getting. He scratches his chin idly with a finger.

"You bastard, don't you understand that I can't always rely on—" then the blond cuts himself off and they both flick their gaze towards him.

Kakashi tries to look as harmless as possible.

"Hm." Sasuke _stalks_ towards him, there is no other word for it. "They call you our Wolf. Relatively new to the syndicate and already so trusted and famous."

"I'm famous?" Kakashi demurs, tiredly, resigned.

The dangerous-looking young man just scoffs, and peers over at the blond from the corner of his eyes. "You've been spending a lot of time with him," the lilt of the statement makes it into a sly question.

"I told you!" Naruto replies defensively, which does not help, "He's teaching me how to—"

"Fight," Sasuke says, reaching over to run a thumb across the sweat on the blond's forehead, "Yes, or so I've heard."

He rubs the sweat thoughtfully against his fingers. Kakashi breathes lightly.

"I think you like him." Sasuke states coldly, then smirks. "Come with me."

"Sasuke it—"

"We should have a word with Uncle Madara." And he guides the blond out of the dojo, Naruto protesting loudly but not resisting too much. He gives a quick handsignal to his men at the door, out of the blond's sight, and Kakashi finds himself bookended.

 _Uchiha Madara,_ Kakashi thinks, slouching further while flicking glances at the two men, head oyabun of their entire Family. Lying low in California while the shockwaves in Japan die down from their recent power struggles, both internally and with Orochimaru and the Taiwanese mafia. It was convenient for Sasuke who'd been tracking down his brother, who had disappeared into the United States' crime organizations. But deeply inconvenient for Kakashi, who would rather stay alive a little bit longer, thank you very much.

* * *

He finds himself firmly steered, and he doesn't much struggle because he knows that he can take on his two-man escort and he hasn't been in this wing of the compound yet. Kakashi notes the locations of the hallways and doors, not especially ornate but of a somewhat higher quality than the rest of the buildings. He's lead to one of them and he's loose and ready for a fight. And when the door opens he sees... a bedroom.

"What's this?" He blinks owlishly, tracking the men from his peripheral vision while studying the place. Kakashi steps into the room mostly out of surprise and carelessness, which he realizes was a mistake as soon as he takes a closer look at the walls and windows. Double-paned bullet-proof glass, vacuum sealed, tumbler-locked. The walls are closer in than they should have been, given the ceiling of the hallways and the spacing of the doors, meaning they're thick. The furniture's well appointed, but kind of sparse, and emotionless.

But despite the characteristics of the room, it feels lived in.

"You're the night's entertainment apparently." Says the shorter of the guards, not difficult as the other was so giant; said with a sharklike leer, clear in the voice. And they're about to close the door on him when the sound of more footsteps joins them.

"Wha... Sasuke?" A familiar voice cries out, "Why is Kakashi in my room?"

 _*Well*_ , he thinks almost cheerfully, _this is different from what I was expecting._

"You'd wanted him." The coldness in that voice is almost gentle, "You can have him."

"Sasuke you totally have it all wrong, it's not like that! And you can't treat people like—"

"I'm an Uchiha," the dark-haired young man says simply, "And he has bound his services to the syndicate."

There's a pause.

Then Kakashi hears the blond sigh, "You're not letting me refuse, are you?"

"No."

"We're still meeting tomorrow?"

"Hn."

"Ugh, _bastard_. Fine then, shoo."

There's a mocking bow, and then they're left alone.

"I'm sorry about this, he gets kinda intense and weird. We don't have to. Um." Naruto coughs, walking forward even though he's squirming, red-faced. "You should probably stay. It'll be safer for you, if they think I like you."

"Oh? And why is that?"

Naruto doesn't meet his eyes. "I can sleep on the floor," he offers, stopping an arm's length away, eyes serious and still heavily blushing.

Kakashi just reaches out a hand, letting his finger trace along the redness on that tanned cheekbone, "He said you liked me. I thought I made you 'uncomfortable'?"

"You're an ass and you're weird and you do." Naruto huffs, not looking at him, and slapping at his hand, "And quit it, that's not what you _*want*_ to do."

"It isn't?"

"No it isn't," the blond replies, shading his eyes with his hair. "You're not really..." he trails off. Kakashi finds this extremely odd, because he would not have pegged Naruto for the type to be unable to complete his sentences.

"Not really...'gay'?" Kakashi prompts, "Attracted to you? Willing to sleep with you?" The kid's beautiful, an average height but all long lines and well formed limbs, olive skin that went on forever and hair like someone has just fucked him hard, everywhichway. Kakashi wants to lick his smile, he wants to make that blond hair even more disheveled. He cups the side of that edible neck, to remind himself he doesn't quite have permission yet. "I'd thought we'd established otherwise the first two. As for the third, I'd thought you were the son of a oyabun, and then someone too important for me to have. Yet now I'm here."

Naruto shrugs away from his hand and scratches at the back of his head. The blush is seeping away but not his flustered expression.

"I don't really mind the order," Kakashi points out, pleasantly, not moving from where he stands, hands visible and out in the open.

The blond blows out a loud breath, shakes his head, and raises his eyes to look out the large window; appearing solemn, and a little sad.

"I'm hungry," Naruto says suddenly, "Wanna go get something? I know this great noodle place!"

The next thing Kakashi knows, his hand's grabbed and he's being hauled out the window.

"I thought that was locked," he says mildly, mentally noting that he didn't see either key or lockpicks.

"There's a trick to it," the young man replies, but doesn't meet his eyes.

* * *

The owner of the ramen house appears unsurprised to see a customer so very late, and, given the volume of the order that's given, Kakashi almost suspects that Naruto is the sole reason why the place kept such long hours. The waitress greets the blond warmly, and gives Kakashi a curious look, but leaves them to themselves readily enough.

"I'm surprised you don't choke," Kakashi murmurs, still on his first bowl while the younger man's already on his third. At which, to his amusement, Naruto almost chokes. Coughs. Shifts his eyes.

"I'm just awesome like that," the blond replies quickly then stares him down. "So, like, I don't know anything about you."

 _Oh, so it's like that,_ Kakashi thinks. He shrugs and replies, "I apparently don't know much about you either?"

Naruto just shakes his head as if to bat the question away, "I mean, you come out of nowhere and you're just _bad ass_. What's up with the eyepatch anyways?"

Kakashi raises his hand halfway to it, then lowers it back down again. "An old injury."

"It makes you look evil by the way," the blond snorts, "You'd never be able to carry off an innocent expression. But what's the story behind it?" The blue stare is sharp, but warm and prickly, welcoming like noon sunlight, and Kakashi finds himself opening his mouth.

"A friend. A job gone wrong. A-a building that collapsed," he closes his eye and mentally shakes himself. He shouldn't be saying such things; they're enough with which to track him.

Naruto grimaces slightly, squinting, "Sorry. A bad memory?" A small pout forms on those lips as he blows upwards at his hair, "You can't blame me though, all your secrets don't exactly inspire confidence."

"And what of _your_ secrets Naruto?" he asks playfully, eye dead serious.

"But you can trust me!" he almost shouts.

"I can?"

Silence.

"Why can't you Kakashi?" Naruto asks quietly.

Kakashi just smiles. And waits.

And finally the blond wads up a straw wrapper and chucks it at him.

"Fine. Then what's your favorite color?"

"Blue." He replies immediately, staring straight into Naruto's eyes.

A light blush and the kid opens his mouth.

"I'd liked it before I'd met you," he quickly interrupts.

"...oh."

"But I like it more now," Kakashi murmurs, looking to the side where the waitress is apparently giggling at them.

He could _feel_ the heat and embarrassment radiating from the other side of the table.

* * *

"Have you been to one of those before?"

They're walking back from the noodle shop after a surprisingly amusing time (barring the initial unpleasantness), and passes a museum brightly lit for a politician's fundraiser banquet.

Kakashi shakes his head.

"Me neither, wanna go?"

"We're not really dressed for it," Kakashi points out.

"But there's a fancy clothes shop right there!"

And then he gets dragged into the back of a closed store; doors opening before the blond like the Red Sea before Moses. _Honestly now,_ Kakashi thinks, eye half-lidded and disgruntled, _I didn't join the Yakuza for petty crime._ A tux gets shoved into his arms in a whirlwind and the order to, "Get in that before I come back!", drifts from the shadows of the shop.

He shrugs; Kakashi's always been good with orders and he's pretty sure that, despite whatever the blond's actual position in the syndicate, that Naruto outranks him. He's barely got his bowtie into place when Naruto comes out and the breath's punched from him. _The *fuck*?_

"I'm your date," the blond mutters, "Shaddup." The voice is reassuringly male which is a godsend because otherwise he would have put a gun to that long sunshine hair.

"Those," Kakashi strangles out, "Look real."

Naruto just grins and bounces, the peach-toned dress fluttering around...him? "Yeah, flat-chested girls love modern technology. They have these gel things that stick to your chest. Hey!" The blond slaps away his involuntarily reaching hand, "Don't touch."

"That's an excellent wig?" Kakashi tries to tear his eye away from her— his chest.

"It's an expensive place! Their wigs actually come from people's hair." Naruto pauses, "Kinda creepy though, if you think about it."

"Your jawline even looks different," he mutters as the young...man? Woman? As _Naruto_ hauls him out of the store.

"Good makeup," she? replies, voice raised and softened so that it could be sort of a woman's contralto. They boldly make their way into the museum and Kakashi finds himself almost unsurprised that no one stops them to check for their ticket.

They are led to a table with expensive crystal and thousand-dollar centerpieces and people that look carelessly important. The food is excellent.

The company... less so.

"And they say it's all a conspiracy to facilitate their economic collapse and improve the American dollar!" There's a pleasant laugh to accompany the words. "There would have to be Americans over there whispering things into their ears for that."

"But there _were_." A man chuckles from next to the speaker.

"And that's why it's _*funny*_!" They toast one another in a congratulatory way at apparently nothing. There's the sense of a successful business deal. It almost feels a bit like Family.

Kakashi exchanges a glance with Naruto, who's looking at him consideringly.

"Well you're new."

Kakashi turns back to the speaker, and tilts his head, "I wouldn't normally have been able to come. But my boss was pleased with my results."

"And rewarded you with tickets eh? Not bad, not bad, may I ask what line of work you're in?" Shrewd eyes take in his eyepatch, the scar that peeks out from under it, his body-type, and his demeanor.

"No." Kakashi replies and allows a little edge to seep into his voice.

"Ah like that is it? A hired hand so to say?" The speaker mouths _'Blackwater'_?

"Aah." He shakes his head, "A competitor, so to speak. It's inadvisable to say more." He nods towards the reporters and photographers who are beginning to drift into the room.

"Oh! Good eye. But then I suppose they pay you well for that."

"Here, you _must_ try this." Naruto says, a hair shy from flat out interrupting. A graceful hand is cupped under a fork with a bite of steak lifting to his mouth. He takes the mouthful carefully and chews, smirking at her in thanks, nosing at her cheek playfully. And watches as she (he?) bats her eyes in apology at the Senator who just chuckles and waves them off like a pair of hopeless lovebirds.

They spent the rest of the dinner apparently immersed in each other, but Kakashi keeps his ears open and, from the flickering expressions in Naruto's eyes, he's not alone.

* * *

He's quietly pulled into the room.

"I should have trusted you," the woman who's actually Naruto says, sighing.

"Aa?"

"The way you reacted tonight. At the dinner. At how they laughed at their games." The conversation at the banquet had been far-reaching, in ebbs and waves, as the reporters drifted in and out. New Orleans and Louisiana and Katrina, fish and farm animals plumped with chemicals and too much corn, the nearly literal family of oil regulators and oil merchants, and arms sold in places with enough consonants in their names to make a normal person stumble over the pronunciation. But no one stumbled this night, as they spoke of money and the way it made the world go 'round.

"It's no worse than what the Yakuza does," he says dismissively, hands lightly at that thin waist, thumbs rubbing gently, testing the curves under that dress.

Naruto hums, "You're a good man." The blond woman looks thoughtful, then determined, "There's something I have to tell you."

"Does it have anything to do with how I can't seem to find your Adam's apple?" Kakashi remarks lightly.

A pause.

"Nothing escapes you, does it?" The blond looks a bit grim, nods, and with a soft _'poof!'_ the woman and the dress crumple into so much smoke and air. "Your clothes," the young man reaches... somewhere, and hands him a pile, "I paid for the tux, you can keep it."

Kakashi quickly, almost carelessly, sets his clothes aside; he's been feeling that something's been strange but it's one thing to hypothesize and another to have female curves disintegrate into male planes right in his hands. "What _*are*_ you?"

Naruto closes his eyes at that, and starts to move away, "Sorry. You must be feeling—"

"My fault," Kakashi interrupts, catching at those hips and pulling him in again. " _*Who*_ are you?" He takes a step backwards, hands still on the younger man, and sits down; so that even while Naruto's ducking his head, Kakashi can meet his eyes, which are sad.

"An orphan," Naruto's smile is, while not exactly bitter, not exactly sweet, "Like I said. A street rat. Who can. Who can make things... Change. The Uchiha, they noticed and took me in and prevented me from being too obvious."

"Obvious? With changing things?" he asks carefully, peering up. While this was, to say the least, extraordinary and breaks all preconceptions he'd had about the world and the universe; what concerns him more at the moment is how the fucking _Yakuza_ is in control of someone like Naruto. Someone who can change their gender, stroll past locks, and, if he wasn't mistaken, make people not even notice he's there. And who knows what else.

"Yeah, going around and changing things. People. " The blond says this quietly. Then Naruto flushes and plucks at Kakashi's hands until Kakashi lets go, and his face twists in a self-deprecating grimace, " _This_ is probably not you. You probably don't really want to... to touch me. Sorry."

"Naruto?" Is the young man seriously thinking he's _coercing_ him? And... maybe he is. Perhaps. How would he know?

"Yeah, um, I didn't really expect," Naruto scratches at his neck and looks away, "You. I've never been attracted to. To guys. Before. Um, I thought I just wanted you to teach me and you wouldn't pay _attention_ to me and. And I might've let it get away from me. Sorry."

" 'It'...?" Kakashi echoes, not moving from the bed, the guilt coming from the blond is so nearly a physical thing that it makes him cautious of misunderstanding. Even as it calms whatever part of him that might've been concerned about being however coerced.

"Yeah. Um, whatever it is that changes things. I don't really understand it. I just..." and Naruto shrugs and wiggles his fingers.

"Hmm," he carefully thinks over the words, and everything that's happened, "Well, one way to find out. Make me jump or something."

"Er," Naruto sighs, "Okay."

Then those blue eyes meets his and almost seem to glow, intense, and the ground seems to fall away and he wants to jump to compensate. He feels a warm prickly heat and he shoves that feeling away and then the bed solidifies around him. "Huh," He stares at Naruto steadily, even though internally he's shaken, "Well that was strange. And you've done that to me before."

The blond's face is horrible, twisted up and angry and all of it at himself, and Kakashi grows certain. He stands and works his way around the room, checking under tables and objects. He murmurs, peering around, "Only three times though. And twice to push me _away_ ; once tonight, that I stopped." Kakashi smiles then, looking up, "Now that I know what to look for, it shouldn't be an issue."

Those blue eyes, only intense because of their own beauty, blink at him, "Just like that?"

"Aa." He checks the last place and strolls up to the blond.

"But you don't _know_! What if I'd affected you like, subtly or something?"

" 'Subtly'? You?" Kakashi tries to prevent his smile, but his eye curves into it anyways.

"Shut up! It could happen!" Naruto smacks past him and paces the room, "And I made you gay and everything!"

He just stares at the young man, eye half-lidded and mildly confused, "I was attracted to men before you."

"Eeh?" The blond whips around, "But you're _mafia_ and—"

"Two things," Kakashi interrupts playfully, "One, that's very narrow-minded of you; what about your Sasuke?"

"Sasuke? What about Sasuke?"

He can't help it, he laughs, "You're not sleeping with him then?"

"The _*hell*_ gave you _that_ idea?" the blond shrieks and flails and Kakashi just laughs harder. "Wait is _that_ why you were all twitchy when he was in the dojo? And if _that's_ 'one' then what's the other thing?"

Kakashi smiles at himself, wry, he shouldn't be saying this, but there's no thicker walls than these, and he'd just checked for bugs. And Naruto really should know, "I'm not really mafia."

"THE HELL?"

" 'After leaving the Marine Black Ops, I aimlessly wandered around for a year, made friends with Uchiha Obito, who'd died. Upset at his death, I joined the syndicate.' " Kakashi says in his storytelling voice. "Or at least, that's what the Yakuza are aware of; I'd left the Forces a year earlier, and was immediately recruited to become an undercover cop. I did my training in Virginia and was 'discharged' at Port of San Diego. Uchiha Obito was my contact, and our informant, and gave his life to prevent a sting op from going south." He slumps over, staring at his hands, and offers, "He _was_ my friend however."

He reaches up and removes the patch, knowing it reveals a pitch-black eye, Uchiha dark, "He gave me his eye, saying he didn't need it anymore. Gave us his life, saying he was glad." Kakashi shrugs, staring at the piece of cloth then placing it to one side, "Black eyes are common enough, but I cover it because I'm not going to use it in the service of an organization he was working against."

"Kakashi..."

He looks up and smiles at the blond, "And that's the story behind the eyepatch."

Those blue eyes are really round, surprised, sad.

"It's in the past," Kakashi replies to them, cheer injected into his voice.

"Why did you tell me this?" Naruto asks quietly.

"Because I can get you out."

" 'Out'?"

Kakashi nods, "Away from the Yakuza, we can supply a safe house and—"

"No." The blond interrupts.

"But they probably want to _use_ you," Kakashi prods, slightly cast aback.

"And you don't think the government would want to use me too?" Naruto snorts, "You've heard them tonight, they're just as bad."

"But you're—" and then suddenly several things fall into place for Kakashi and it almost literally knocks him onto his back. He stares at Naruto, eyes very very wide.

"Why do you think I want to learn how to fight?" Naruto says seriously, the confidence in his bearing so strong it's nearly visible. "Why do you think I need to stand up for myself?"

"You—"

" _*I*_ need to be strong, so that the men I'm gathering can believe in me, for something more than to be a so-called 'magical being'."

"You're gathering people?" Kakashi gapes at him, mind whirling.

"Yes. Being associated with the Uchiha lets me, well, meet people." Then Naruto smiles, brilliant, "Sakura says hi, by the way."

" _Sakura_?"

Naruto nods, "She made contact after you came back three weeks ago. I knew her when we were little, and apparently she was looking for me! She said she had her search narrowed down to the Uchiha syndicate, and you gave her the last bit. You know," the blond says conspiratorially, "I think she totally has a crush on Sasuke. Got an alliance out of it, even."

"An alliance," he says flatly, "You got the syndicate an alliance with the Irish mafia."

"Psh, hell no." Naruto snorts, "With _me_. They're allied to _*me*_ and those pledged to me." There's a shit-eating grin on his face, "Like most of the mafia clans in the U.S. And Uchiha Itachi."

It makes Kakashi's eyes narrow, "And Sasuke?"

The blond shakes his head, "I'm working on him, but he's still too angry, at alot of things. He doesn't know about most of what I'm doing, though he knows about the magical shit."

 _That's probably smart,_ he thinks, _in fact—_

"You're," Kakashi recalls all that he has been shown tonight, and all that he's putting together, and he finds himself falling to his knees. "You're going to change the world."

"Well I'm gonna _try_." There's laughter above him, the sound of glass and liquid, and he finds a cup held in front of his face. The scent of expensive sake rises from the bowl and he looks upward from his kneel. Naruto smiles down, "Receive sake from me and pledge your gun to mine?" The knowledge is heavy in the air that this will trump all of Kakashi's previous loyalties, mafia or otherwise.

The Yakuza senior-junior relationship is formalized by sharing sake from a single cup, and it amuses some part of Kakashi to realize that this younger man is offering him sake. The rest of him presses Naruto's hands to the ceramic, instead of simply taking the cup away, and sips from it carefully, staring upwards. Those blue eyes grow dilated as he watches, and Kakashi lets go and watches as Naruto shakily drinks from it too. Their gaze never breaks.

"And the host?" Kakashi whispers as he stands and removes the cup from the blond's grip.

"What?"

Kakashi grins, "Nothing." And ducks in to taste Naruto's lips.

The sharp tang of sake, chased by saltiness and the faintest blend of all that they ate that night, and, deeper, a muskiness, warm. Kakashi dips in further and licks at the ridged roof and is rewarded with a moan and a full body shiver.

"So?" he asks, drawn back a little, whispers into that delicious mouth, "I want this, I think you want this, and I'm not under whatever mind control you're worrying about."

Naruto swallows the words and blinks a little, eyes clearing slowly. Kakashi just waits and watches; it's like a portrait, that blond hair, those eyes, bright even in the moonlit room, a piece of sun, a slice of sky. His fingers rubs a question in circles just under Naruto's shirt, at his waist.

But the blond just looks a little at a loss, and uneasy for it, breathing hard. And he doesn't want the younger man at a loss, so moves his mouth to hover by a tanned ear, and murmurs the question out-loud, "Do you want to fuck me?"

A surprised moan rips out of a beautiful throat and Kakashi feels the blond shiver in his hands. Wide, wide eyes look, startled, into his own, "I've never, um, slept with a guy before." His face's so adorably red that Kakashi couldn't help but lick at it, and he feels the words, "I don't know how to make it good," against his tongue.

He just hums against the cheek, "I don't mind. It doesn't have to be great," he points out.

"I... I want it to be," comes out shaky, and rushed, "With you. So, like, take me instead?"

And Kakashi just laughs helplessly at that, at the storybook cheesiness, into Naruto's hair as the blond pushes him backwards in retaliation, against the bed, and climbs on. But the giggles die in his throat when he looks up as Naruto grabs his hands and slides Kakashi's hands from the blond's waist to his ass.

"You know what you're doing, right?" Naruto demands, face still flushed, but eyes determined.

"Aa." Kakashi agrees, and massages him firmly. The younger man's thighs open around his.

The blond bit back a moan, thrusting down, the _heat_ between those legs amazing and he's already half-hard and Kakashi presses their clothed groins together and just thrusts, lazy and long, the friction sparking pleasure up his spine.

The moment Naruto snaps is audible, because he shoves them apart, "So you know what you're doing. Great. Fantastic. _Fucking get naked already_." And reaches to tug at Kakashi's clothes.

Which is a _wonderful_ idea.

There's a brief flurry of hands, as Kakashi rips off his jacket and Naruto's fingers fly down his dress shirt buttons and he barely gets his bowtie off before the blond nearly strangles him with it by yanking the expensive shirt fabric away.

"Mou, you almost took my ears off," Kakashi mutters after his undershirt's tugged violently over his head, leaving his hair a wildly waving mess.

"They'd grow back," Naruto snaps, grabbing his own shirt with one hand and pushing at his pants with another and suddenly Kakashi finds himself with a lapful of naked blond who's pretty much humping his hardness against Kakashi's abs. "Your pants need to be _off_."

Kakashi's hands are already on the problem, but they keep getting distracted and taking side trips to stroke at Naruto's inner thighs and ass, which hover so temptingly near, and cause the blond to make such beautiful moans. But he manages to get his pants down to about his hips, with a combination of shoving and wiggling, at which point Naruto helps him push them the rest of the way off with his feet.

Then the blond stares at the hard length of him.

"Um. That's. That's going in me, right?" They both shiver at his words, and he runs his hands up Naruto's thighs to stroke at his back.

"If you want," Kakashi replies softly.

"You can... make it fit?" Naruto asks, face flaming and completely awkward looking, and Kakashi sits up to gently kiss up his neck, following the blush.

"Yes. If you have lube, or maybe lotion?" he murmurs into that lovely skin. "We can do something else if you—"

"Lube, drawer near you, next to the tissues."

And Naruto's not looking at him, clearly embarrassed, so Kakashi sits up even higher to mouth into his ear, "I want to watch you sometime, with your hand on yourself."

And the blond's jerking his face back towards him when Kakashi flips them around, and leans over the kid to reach into the sidetable.

"Good brand," he murmurs, checking out the label, then gets a couple fingerfuls to start warming up in his palm. Naruto stares up at him as he does so, breathing quick and high and Kakashi dips down to kiss him thoroughly languid again, chasing their tongues back and forth and memorizing the feel of those lips and finding the places where it makes the blond shiver, the places so good that moans vibrate up that throat and get trapped between them.

It's during one of those that Kakashi reaches down between Naruto's legs and plays at the area behind his balls gently, then firmer, until it rips the moans out so hard it forces their mouths apart.

"The _hell_ is—"

"That," Kakashi interrupts, "Is your prostate, and it's going to make this really really fun for you." He keeps a thumb rubbing circles there, the blond moaning all the while, as his fingers start working in the lube around Naruto's pucker, which quivers at him, even there uncertain.

"That's. Kind of." The young man pants, shaking, "Wow."

"Not there yet," Kakashi grins. "Breathe in deeply," he instructs, and when Naruto does, he pushes a single finger in, in, in, seeking the partner to the place his thumb is pressing down on and—

"Fuckin—" the rest of the cuss is shredded by the wail tearing out of Naruto's throat, and Kakashi would be amused at such a reaction if he'd not been trying to catch his breath at how amazingly sensitive the blond is and how responsive and how he'd love to replace his finger with his cock right fucking now and just * _pound*_ into that silk and that quivering heat, but.

No. Kakashi moves his thumb off and strokes his finger at less sensitive areas, and the pleading little whimper Naruto makes in response makes him grab at himself with his other hand.

"Naruto," he begs, but can't find it in him to tell the blond to shut up. And he has to let go of himself because he wants to fist himself and he shouldn't. Kakashi has _plans_ for that erection, dammit.

"Why'd you stop?" Naruto whispers, and he gets the feeling it's mostly because the blond's mouth is dry.

"It's just a taste," Kakashi says, breath shaky, and pushes in another finger carefully.

Naruto moans at it, almost a whine in his throat, which makes him moan too and jerk his hips into the mattress.

"A taste of when you'll fuck me?"

" _*Naruto*_." _Shut up, shut up._

"Will your cock feel like that?"

"Ohgod."

"You could probably make me come just pounding me there."

"Nnngh!" Kakashi bites at the blond's shoulder and shoves in another finger and Naruto arches into it with a hiss.

"Fuck, OW."

"Do you _want_ me to lose control?" Kakashi darkly hisses right back.

The blond's quiet too long and he darts his eyes up and Naruto holds them and whispers, " _*Yes*_."

 _*Fuck*._

Kakashi carefully pulls his fingers out and carefully scoots a bit away and carefully, thoroughly searches Naruto's eyes. Nervousness, yes, but no hesitation. "Okay."

He shoves a pillow under the blond's hips and lines himself up, the other hand holding an olive thigh up, testing gently at the pucker with the head of his cock. It laps at him, _fuck_ , and Kakashi breathes hard, steeling himself. Naruto's eyes are dark, chest heaving, and Kakashi watches them as he pushes in.

But then Naruto winces, swears, and shifts his leg suddenly, causing Kakashi to slip forward a touch too fast and suddenly it became _ridiculously_ tight.

Kakashi freezes, being completely afraid to tear something. "Naruto, _relax_."

"Mother _fuck_ ing _charlie_ horse—" Naruto gasps, "And your dick sucks right now too."

"Relax." He pretty near begs, choking back the urge to thrust, "God just _relax._ You're going to te—"

A hand grabs his face, across his mouth, "Just shut the fuck up for a minute and let me—"

Kakashi's damn near about to pull out and have them try again a bit later when a sudden prickly heat floods around his cock and the tensed muscles give way.

 _*Oh.*_

A heel kicks hard at his ass and he's shoved in deep with a yelp, and the blond just smirks at him, briefly, before those blue eyes scrunch up when he shifts.

"Well, that's a good...perk?" Kakashi strangles out. Fuck, but the tightness is delicious, all heat and silk and subtle friction.

"You're..." Naruto moans, head thrown back and neck a long arch, "You're * _in*_ me. It feels. God, you feel like," and he _shakes_. Kakashi can feel him shake around his cock, and _he hasn't even moved yet_.

He remedies that, pulls out in a long glide and then snaps back in viciously and Naruto _*screams*_ , the sound vibrating off the walls, body near lifting itself off the bed. Kakashi does it again, to make that happen more, and again, and again, and Naruto's just sobbing with the pleasure now, too breathless for anything more, face completely twisted up and broken open, hands fisting in the bedding above him, body taut and pulsing against his. It's probably the hottest thing he's ever seen and he half wants to slow down just to make it last longer but Naruto's suddenly _tight_ around him, an incoherent ripple and clench, and Kakashi reaches down to pull at the blond's cock, but he'd pretty much didn't need to. So he just braces himself and fucks the blond quick and hard, a delicious couple of times and he's * _there*_ , pressing himself in tightly and screaming into Naruto's shoulder.

Only in hindsight, pulled out and cleaned up and collapsing into sleep, does he realize that he possibly screamed the other's name.

* * *

"I came back from a job right before we'd met yesterday. From Israel," he says languidly, one arm wrapped around Naruto who's sprawled on top of him, the other hand drifting and stroking all that lovely skin.

"Aren't they really, like, intense?" The blond's tracing the muscles on his chest and shoulders; and he feels as if he's being drawn, under those fingertips.

"The word you're looking for is crazy. The two men I ran into," Kakashi sighs, disgruntled, "Just refused to die. They killed off four full teams; almost got all of mine, and I only managed to get one other teammate out."

"I heard he's still recovering," the blond slides up to look him in the eye, searching.

"Mm. But we got what we went in for," he plays at the dimples at the small of Naruto's back.

The young man hums and leans into it, closing his eyes, "Yeah? They've been sending you everywhere it seems like." Kakashi's jobs kept interrupting their training sessions, be it with arms or with hand-to-hand.

"They have," Kakashi agrees, starting to list off places as he walks his fingers up the knobs of Naruto's spine, "Japan, China, Russia, various places in Iran and the Middle East, twice to Rome, once into the Vatican—"

"The Vatican?"

"Mmhmm." He scores the 'Vatican' knob with a fingernail, making the blond squeak, and continues counting off locations, fingers dancing, "All up the east coast. A couple times to Paris and the Louvre. Once to Scotland and Rosslyn church."

Naruto scrunches up his face, "What's the syndicate doing in all those places? They can't possibly be trying to set up clans there, it'd be spread too thin."

"The same thing they were doing sending me to Temple Mount." Kakashi murmurs, stroking back down the long line of Naruto's back, "Looking for the Holy Grail."

"The Holy _Grail_?"

"The cup of Christ's blood." Kakashi bops his nose into Naruto's cheek, "The _San Graal_." He then chuckles, "Or the * _Sang réal*._ "

"Meaning?" the blond snorts, "You realize I don't know French."

"Meaning _'Royal blood'_ ; I was sent to hunt down birth records." He mouths at those, heh, 'divine' lips again. "Your ancestor's birth records."

Naruto's eyes start growing wide.

"Jesus Christ's bloodline," Kakashi declares theatrically.

Naruto's mouth falls open and he playfully licks into it. He gets pulled away by a hand at his hair and Kakashi makes a small disappointed sound, though he's not entirely surprised.

" _Explain_." Naruto demands.

"You're the descendant of Christ." Kakashi states, completely cheerful and amused. "Does that help?"

"NO." The blond pauses, "Well, yes, but...No! What the hell! And I can't be the only one!"

"The paperwork leads back to you."

"And what about bastards? I mean _someone's_ gotta have slept around." Naruto shoves back and starts flailing and hauls both hands agitatedly through his hair.

Kakashi shrugs, greatly entertained, "They may have, but their descendants don't have the proof. They also don't have your ability to, ah, whatever it is that you do."

"But! But I can _teach_ it!"

He blinks and stares at the blond. "You what?"

"Teach people how to use," Naruto wiggles his fingers, " 'Whatever it is'."

Kakashi finds himself with an armful of blond, "Aa?"

"Concentrate, I'm gonna make it really obvious," absently.

And then there... there's a heat, prickly, from the torso pressed to his, starting at the heart, that seems to swirl and to travel through Naruto's body like blood. It's amazing to sense, like a glowing network. And he opens his eye to find Naruto smiling at him.

"You felt it." And hands slide into Kakashi's hair and he leans into them, humming, "You have it too. Most people seem to, but they just ignore it. Or like," Naruto frowns, "Like one part of them wants to do one thing and another wants to do something else, so they're never really all together and flowing right."

"You mean they're not 'focused'?"

The blond shakes his head, "It's something else, it's like a lot of people don't pay attention to their bodies anymore, or they totally pay too much attention. Nyargh!" Naruto sags in his arms, "I'm bad at explaining things."

"There has to be balance?" Kakashi murmurs, thinking. It reminds him of some meditative exercises.

"Sorta," Naruto grimaces. "A mixture I guess?"

"Mou, how Eastern."

The blond just stares at him, "What does that have anything to do with the magical thing?"

"You mean the 'powers of Christ'?" Kakashi chuckles, "Not much, in the end, I suppose. Mmm, I hope that you didn't teach other people the way you're teaching me," he gropes the younger man's ass a bit, "Though it does explain how Sasuke is, around you."

"The hell are you talking about?" Blue eyes squint at him, "I have no idea where you get that idea, seriously." Naruto then flushes a little, "And no, I totally hugged him with clothes on!"

"Riiight," he chirrups back.

Naruto just rolls his eyes. Then huffs, saying quietly, "The bastard totally knew about the Jesus thing then. 'Cause the syndicate, or at least Madara, had to know to send you on all those trips."

"I'm pretty sure that Sakura knew, too, from my recollection of what she said," he adds.

"Wait, she's the one you met at Rosslyn church right?" Naruto peeks up at him and when he nods back, pulls a face, "That explains why she was so smirky towards the end of our meeting. I think she thought that I knew, at first."

Kakashi holds back a smile, _that sounds about right._

"I'm totally gonna have words with her; geeze I taught her some of the stuff she uses."

 _But that was new._ "What stuff?"

"Well, just some of the basics. How to push it around so you can heal and move faster and hit harder; stuff that's useful if you're on the streets," the blond smiles fondly, eyes distant, "She kinda took it and ran with it though."

"And you're teaching Sasuke these things too?" he asks, voice forcibly steady.

The blond snorts, "Why do you think he likes me so much?"

 _That... might be a problem._ Even only meeting him once, the dark-haired young man didn't particularly strike him as stable. But for the moment Kakashi pushes away his unease because that opening is just too perfect, "Maybe he just wanted to be 'closer to God'."

Naruto groans, "I keep telling you, there's nothi—", then starts upright. "Wait, did you sleep with me just to like, what, fuck the Son of Christ and all that?"

"Not... completely," he points out, "And I did offer to bottom. It's kind of decadently blasphemous either way though, isn't it?"

The young man just shrieks, "You felt like being _*blasphemous*_?" But a smile twitches around his mouth.

Kakashi simply looks up at the ceiling, smirking, and Naruto whacks him with a pillow.

"You were heavenly," Kakashi singsongs.

The blond whacks him harder.

"Divine?"

"Argh!" Naruto straddles him and smushes the pillow into his face and Kakashi can't breathe but mostly because he couldn't stop giggling.

Oh, he has a good one, and he shoves up a hand against the fluff, and says slowly, "It was nice _fingering_ your 'halo'."

The pillow suddenly lifts and Naruto stares down at him with a disturbed expression, "I can't believe how _dirty_ you made that sound."

"It's a gift," Kakashi leers.

There's the sound of the door opening and they both freeze, then find themselves being stared at by cold black eyes.

"Am I interrupting?"

"Fuck, right, we were meeting today for a lesson." Naruto scrambles off and starts shoving himself into his clothes.

If Kakashi was anyone else, perhaps he might've felt compelled to cover himself. But he isn't, so he doesn't, and only watches Naruto dress himself with faint regret at the disappearing skin. And he also watches Sasuke watch Naruto's slightly stilted gait, that smoothes out after the blond pauses for a bit with a look of concentration, and notes the look of scorn that isn't quite hidden.

Suddenly the blond's in his face. "Meet me at the lake tonight."

Kakashi's mouth is kissed roughly like Naruto is forcing a promise, and he gives it readily with a pleased hum because, while the words and the kiss are asking different things, he finds himself amenable to both. He suspects it happened somewhere inbetween the sex and the teasing.

Speaking of which. Hiding his mouth from the Uchiha, he whispers back, "The lake? For a 'baptism of desire'?"

Really, it's too easy.

"You're _such_ a sacrilegious asshole."

"No, not yet." Kakashi murmurs very very quietly, hiding his grin. "But I _*could*_ have a sacrilegious asshole if you put 'the fear of God' in me," he offers.

The blond's face is completely priceless and he feels himself beaming.

"I'm kind of appalled and turned-on all at the same time." Naruto scowls at him. "And I'm not even religious."

The younger man storms off, but not before running a fond hand through Kakashi's hair; and Kakashi watches Sasuke watching and notes the slight flare of the Uchiha's nose as the blond passes by.

* * *

"Oh hey, it's that soap opera with the witches, 'Passions' right?" Naruto peers over his shoulder.

Kakashi shifts the mini-dvd player and debates turning it off, but he'd just started the series and is kind of addicted. He'd arrived at the lake early and thought to spend the time productively.

"The effects are cheesy though," the blond shrugs, "And I thought it was sorta cheap how they had Chad cheat on his wife with—"

He's shutting the player off with one hand and holding it with the other so really there's no choice but to shove his tongue down Naruto's throat. When nothing's coming out except moans, he releases the blond's mouth and turns to quickly tuck the electronics back into it's case and secure the whole thing in his pack.

"Um?" Naruto stammers out.

"Don't spoil me," he replies dolefully, "You already did a little."

"Oh, aheh." The younger man scratches his head, but grins at him, "I catch some of it occasionally 'cause a couple of the other guys watch it too."

Kakashi hums, stowing the pack safely away, and steps up to the blond, "So, how do you want me?" And curls his eye up into a smile.

"Oh! Right!" Naruto chirrups and drags him near the water's edge.

"Kinky," he smirks, eyeballing the mud.

"Wha— Oh." The younger man makes a face at him. "You're such a perv. Do you wanna learn how to walk on water or not?"

Kakashi just stares blankly at him.

"Hey, I did say that 'descendant of Christ' thing helped explain some stuff. Sorta. I think?" The blond furrows his head in memory. "Anyway!" And then he bounds onto the surface of the lake as if it's nothing more than a soggy lawn. "Ta da! Jesus Magic!"

Kakashi's caught halfway between wanting to smack his own forehead and gaping in surprise.

The blond runs up to him over the water, _*whatthefuck*_ , and bounces on the balls of his feet, "This should be easy for you since you kinda already move it around when you do those 'katas' of yours."

"I do?" Kakashi asks, half-lidded, disconcerted.

"Yeah, I told you, you have it too." Naruto studies his face, "Okay, you're gonna have to close your eye I think, 'cause you don't look like you believe me."

Fingers lace into his.

"Close your eye, Kakashi," the other commands, and he does so with slight amusement. He senses Naruto move closer and place his feet nearer, then there's a surge of prickly heat downward, "Feel that?"

"Aa."

"Do whatever it is you do in your kata, and copy that feeling, I'm just gonna walk us around the edge until you get the hang of it."

He drops into a light meditative trance, and tries to do so, but—

"Quit peeking!" Naruto pokes him in the chest with their intertwined hands.

Kakashi chuckles, and closes his eye readily, and thinks that perhaps he needs a pattern. Of a sort. So he changes the grip of their hands and the drift of his body and says to Naruto, "Lead."

"Huh?"

"Don't crash us into anything," he smiles, eye still shut, "Don't let me fall," and starts humming.

" _Oh._ " Naruto grin rings clear through his voice, "Okay."

And then they dance. He follows the other's steps.

Kakashi's arms are full. Full of someone beautiful and amazing, glowing with hope and joy so strongly he swears that he can see the blond through his eyelids. Naruto's breathing is steady, his smell exquisite, his heartbeat, that Kakashi vaguely now feels through his fingers, calm, solid, strong. Wind begins to differentiate, until it becomes separate fingers instead of a solid mass. Damp earth, wet rock, leaves both fresh and rotting, and lake water, mingle with the scent of Naruto's hair and Naruto's skin. He feels the pulse of Naruto's warmth. And he wants to echo it.

So he gathers himself. And he does. Kakashi feels the smile grow wider on his face but still doesn't open his eye and he doesn't stop moving or humming.

"Kakashi."

"Mmm?"

Naruto's stopped and he opens his eye to meet his gaze. The blue is a shock after so much darkness.

The fact that they're in the middle of the lake is not.

 _He's radiant,_ Kakashi can't help but think, quietly.

* * *

It's a month later and Kakashi's alone and working on his pet project when the younger Uchiha approaches him.

"Teach me," Sasuke demands.

"I'm not the best person for this," he replies mildly.

"The idiot can't explain things and you've learned somehow, and improved on it. He's nothing special; he even lets himself be _fucked_." There is a scream of incomprehension in the back of those dark eyes.

It makes Kakashi wonder if, somewhere in him, the Uchiha wants to be too. He doesn't blame him, Naruto's a quick learner.

"He doesn't even want to use his powers, he thinks he can just convince people. With _words_." It's spat out like it's dirty.

Which is a little ironic, because the blond's been using his powers a lot recently. In bed, granted; and the hilarious irony of it all is enough to keep Kakashi's expression mild in the face of statements that might've otherwise made him angry or visibly disturbed. He smiles at Sasuke instead, a bit vacuously, "Mou, sounds plausible. Talking that is. With words."

And the younger man's eyebrows draw in.

"I can withdraw my protection," and the threat is heavy with meaning, "And I'll tell Naruto it's his fault when you disappear. At this point, he's taught me enough that I don't even need his compliance for the rest of our plans, although it'll help me progress faster."

 _Well shit,_ Kakashi winces internally. Despite several available contingency plans, it isn't feasible at the moment to pull out of the syndicate. Naruto's in a series of delicate negotiations with the Jamaicans, who are frankly even crazier than the Israelis, and part of it's dependent on both of their current positions of power, even though Kakashi's was based more on reputation than on actual Yakuza standing. If he goes into hiding and Naruto becomes embroiled in internal power struggles, then they'd be deemed weak and all bets would be off, and he isn't sure that they could get the counterfeit artist and the man she refers to as Leader back to the table if they leave.

So Kakashi shrugs as casually as he can and cups his hand like he's grabbing a fistful of air, "It's not that complicated," he lies. "Just bring that energy to your hand and crumple it."

The Uchiha's eyes follow his movements.

And in his palm the sound of a thousand birds sing out.

* * *

"Oh well, that's fine. It'll free me up to do more stuff."

"He's going to be your Judas," Kakashi presses, trying to make him understand.

"Would that make you my Magdalene?" the blond grins.

" _Naruto_."

"Listen, I trust him. He's saved my life before," Naruto insists. "It can't go that wrong."

* * *

 _December 12th, 2012 (four years later)_

The sky is filled with ash and storm clouds. The ground is ripped up, scorched, puddled.

They're two tiny armies, on opposite sides of an artificial lake made from a gouge in the land. They are, on both sides, statesmen and sages and fighters and kings.

And exhausted.

"Stalemate," Itachi's large partner proclaims, the rain falling off his dark skin like water off a duck. Sakura's swearing in a long litany, hands glowing green as she tries to hold their Uchiha's innards together even as Itachi struggles upright.

Kakashi only observes this from his peripheral vision, he keeps most of his attention on the other army, as does Naruto. They watch as one of the weird South African twins, the albino one, approach Sasuke and Madara and speak. Madara nods. Sasuke, never looking away from Naruto in the first place, nods as well and projects across the water the words that they've read from those pale white lips.

"Single combat."

Two champions to determine the outcome. It would preserve life, in the long run. It would preserve what's left of the land. It would be... quite poetic.

Naruto looks across at Sasuke, determination and sadness flickering back and forth in his eyes. It's easy to see he's already going to accept.

Kakashi grabs his arm, "I should do this, I taught him how to—"

"He already knew the basics," the blond plucks his hand away, "This isn't your fight."

"I won't have you nailed to a cross," he insists.

"Don't worry," a blue-eyed gaze, steady, endless, takes him in. "Have faith in me. I'm changing the ending to that story."

And Naruto smiles. And steps forward.

* * *

end

  


* * *

**AN:** SO TA-DA! What's I've been sitting on and stalled on and editing for the last couple months. SORRY GUYS. x.x; I hope it was worth the wait? ::shot:: yeah yeah, I know, I owe at least 50k for the amount of time I should've spent writing, and, yeah I don't even know. XD

 **Naruto's Age:** lol, dunno if ya'll noticed yet, but I pretty much have a reason for every age I place Naruto at for every fic. In this one it had to be one where Naruto had enough time to get things done re:US mafia ties, and also I'd wanted 2012 to happen at a significant age. I'd always known that it'd be '4 years later' mostly 'cause 4 is the number of stability/death/stagnation, so 28 works for that as it adds up to 10 which is essentially completion/arrival. WHICH IS MORE THAN YOU PROBABLY WANTED TO KNOW. XD (okay I can't help myself: 2012= 5 = upheaval of stability)

 **Akatsuki:** All of them are mentioned in this fic. See if you can find them all! ^_^

 **Danzo:** DOOM. First little hint that things are not quite as they seem. Heh, and yeah he's kinda become my shorthand for Things Are Rotten In The State Of Denmark. Speaking of which...

 **Sub-Title:** Referencing Shakespeare, Star Trek, and 'Indiana Jones and The Holy Grail' all at once! ::gigglefit:: "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Mostly added because I felt that Cup of Bullets was a touch too srs a title for what felt like to me as a glorious romp.

 **Soap Operas:** All the soap's plotlines are real. The punchline to the Days of Our Lives storyline is that she ran away to become a nun. The punchline to the Passions storyline was that his wife found him in bed with another man. XD

 **Shooting a gun:** yeah I don't even know. All this is only based on research I could manage to do, vague memories of other fic I read, and tv shows I've watched. It's probable that I'm totally off, which I don't quite mind as I shouldn't be teaching ppl how to shoot guns inna fic, most probably, anyhoo. ::wry:: Also first instance of Jesus Magic appears here, a combination of genjutsu, killing intent, and a chakra push.

 **Sakura:** god I hope she was in character? x.x; ended up adding/rewriting bits after some feedback. Also I could not take her battle with Sasori away from her, and as I'd already decided Sasori would be Irish Mafia, well, there was some shenanigans, but it all worked out plotwise I think? o.0

 **Brazilian Jujitsu:** Really awesome for getting people down and making them stay down. But really kinky looking. If you look up submission holds it's probably one of the most non-worksafe worksafe things you can ever look up. Meanwhile! Behind the scenes Naruto is having a Gay Freakout. Not written partially because I was lazy and couldn't figure out an interesting angle to it that I haven't already read before, and partially because it makes the reveal later on so much more cackleworthy.

 **Sasuke:** would really like to sleep with Naruto, nay, would really like to be fucked by Naruto. AND LOATHES THIS FACT. At least in this fic. ^_^

 **'I'm surprised you don't choke':** Jesus Magic

 **'And the host'** : The communion scene. ::grins:: one of my faves and orin was so incredibly awesome to draw it. It's found at her livejournal if you're curious.

 **The Holy Grail:** So I got this entire fic idea when I was panicking and wondering what the HELL I could write that would last for 10k words. And then went, "oh hey, so my longest one shot was a mafia AU". Then went, "I should make it urban fantasy too!" Then went, "Naruto should be a magical being!" And then, "OH MY GOD HE'S THE SCION OF CHRIST." And then suddenly I had a plot. 'cause clearly I love The Da Vinci Code too much. Also, a little mafia makes everything better.

 **' "But I** _ ***could***_ **have a sacrilegious asshole if you put 'the fear of God' in me," he offers.' :** the one line I'm absolutely proudest of and will have a shit-eating grin forever and ever amen because of it.

 **Waterdancing:** remnant of when this fic was more Utena-like that I couldn't bear to get rid of because I am also very clearly a romantic sap. Written to the instrumentals of Brothers On a Hotel Bed by Death Cab for Cutie. It's also the point where a part of Kakashi admitted to himself that he's in love, whereas prior to that it was pretty much just lust, at least consciously. Also, trying my best to write out what meditation feels like once you get to a certain state, don't really know if it worked, or just reads as pretentious. x.x;

 **2012:** It's the end of the Mayan calendar for the sheer fact that we'll finally be part of the Milky Way galaxy by then (yeah, we're not actually in the Milky Way galaxy yet, we're in the Sagittarius galaxy and slowly crashing into the other one), and there was no way to postulate the numbers after that 'cause they'd no clue what would happen. It represents a time of upheaval and deep change from the Mayan angle, as well as from a numerology side and from a scientific side... _and_ it's an election year.

May we live in interesting times.


End file.
